at home with four grown-up, muscled, and literally big brothers, i have to do chores otherwise i am to be labeled a lazy and untrained female. i have to be home before eight- a sort of curfew, all right. i even have to try my luck to have my folks understand certain things that i have to do, however it may seem so noble or academic or honest. it's hard especially when they know you have a boyfriend- even if he is a great achiever or a spiritual man. they would downgrade such things into a common thinking that he is either a passing or a future headache. haha! whereas, my brothers- oh yes, how i envy them. they could strut anytime they want. they could enjoy the outside with all their freakin' might. aaahhh! i thought this is the twenty sixth century already. oh yes it is but at home it's not even the nineteen hundred.
but i have a big brain to understand what's going on. society says, i have to be protected, i have to be well taken care of, i have to be keenly watched over, i have to be seriously guarded, i have to be restricted and restrained, i have to be controlled. why? why? why?
look at me. i have a long hair, a skinny figure, a good voice, a set of polished nails, a slightly painted eyes, and a fair skin.
try to look at me again. i have an eloquence, i have a brilliance, an intelligence, a character. i have a life to live! why then such misery? aahh, yes, i see... i know now!
my uterus sucks the life out of me.
(Written Thursday, June 08, 2006)
