I’m getting insomniac. I keep on thinking about something. I would at times get up in the middle of the night or more correctly at around 2am, and end up facing my computer instead. I tried to continue on with the play I’m writing but I can’t seem to find words or try to read an online journal, but would end up writing in my most dependable blog. My mind gets blank and then would again keep on thinking about something. My feelings – I am so stricken by my feelings. But hey, I am not and NEVER depressed. I am completely sane but am getting crazy because of this feeling. This is too much, it is so unbearable. I may be speaking here without concreteness, but this is a purgation of my soul. I am stricken by my feelings. Suddenly my big, big life is converted into a small box containing an unbearable feeling. I can’t speak it out, that’s why I am exploding. I can’t speak it out or express it openly simply because I shouldn’t. I am again singing a love song.
(Written 12:15am 8 may 2006, qc)
